There tends to be a bottle of Skinnygirl margaritas in my fridge. (I don’t like drinking alone, but Gossip Girl kind of requires alcohol at this point. WHY BLAIR WHY.) But if I’m going to a party, bringing four bottles of Bethenny’s stuff is a little expensive, and also a little lame. That’s why I love these easy margaritas for tailgating, BBQs, Tuesdays, or (imagine that) Memorial Day parties.

It’s nothing but equal parts limeade concentrate, tequila, beer, and Sprite. I think you’re technically supposed to use Corona, but nobody cares. The beer I bought for today is Lime Cactus Michelob Ultra, which sounds awful, but I’m sure it will be fine.

Oh good lord, I just looked up reviews for LCMU, and they are not good. I do not understand most of the words these people are using (who knew there were such avid beer snobs?), but there was this gem: “The heavy lime taste masks the traditional Michelob Ultra flavor very well.”

Seriously no one will know the difference.

I thought surely Pippa would be a big hit last year, but apparently there just weren’t that many takers.

Among the big-bump names were Aria (which Laura attributes to Game of Thrones), Mila (like Kunis), and Milania (like Giudice, on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, or Donald Trump’s wife). Weird, right? (Oh, also, this might be a good time to point out that no, I’m not @thefauxmilaniag on Twitter.)

What’s interesting is that even if there is a pop culture connection, none of these are names so unique that they’re exclusively associated with celebrities or characters — like Pippa or Suri, neither of which has ever cracked the top 1,000.

The only celebrity infant connection Laura notes is Harper — the second-fastest rising name, given to you-know-who last year. I had heard it a lot, even before the Beckhams gave it to their baby, so I don’t think it’s exclusively related to Posh’s name choice.

I still wish they had named her Santa.

Now, I’m going to use it to talk about all kinds of things I like, such as:

• Cake and cake frosting.
• My dog, Freckles.
• Many things on the Internet. Like this.
• Fringe. Oh my God, Fringe.
• The Olympics!
• Downton Abbey parodies.
• Kate Middleton’s hair.
• What Kate Middleton will wear at the Olympics.
• Freckles’s and my Halloween costumes.
• Freckles’s and my costumes for my forthcoming Gossip Girl-themed birthday party. In December. I will be Blair and she will be Dorota. Or maybe she’ll be Blair and I’ll be Dorota.
• Country music and my pink cowgirl boots.
• Nicole Kidman. (Nope.)
• Tiny Tower.

…you get the idea.

Welcome and hello!

I’m Allie, and if you came here from Suri’s Burn Book, thank you! You’ve heard a lot from my alter ego, but I’d like to share a little information behind Suri’s back.

When a friend suggested I start a celebrity baby website last summer, I knew I had the capacity to cover the daily goings-on of the trust fund set. But the only way I’d want to discuss these children (and especially their parents) would be with a healthy dose of snark. See, while I know the full names, ages, and countries of origin of the entire Jolie-Pitt family, I’m not exactly proud of that knowledge. Couldn’t that part of my brain have been better used learning, I don’t know, science? The point is, whether we admit it or not, it’s a little ridiculous that we, as a culture, know so much about celebrity offspring. So if I was going to take on the task of reporting the news of these families (STOP THE PRESSES: BABY HARPER TO SIT FRONT ROW AT NEW YORK FASHION WEEK), it was going to be tongue in cheek.

And the problem then became, who the hell am I? I’m a twenty-five-year-old writer living alone in a one-bedroom walk-up, complaining about student loan debt – what about that gives me the authority to criticize Violet Affleck for wearing white socks with black shoes? Also, no matter how hard I try, I’ll never be able to say “Bronx Mowgli Wentz” with a straight face.

I needed a character who could pass judgment so harshly that the satire would be obvious. Someone whose authority on the subject of child fashion and celebrity culture could not be debated. Someone who could be absolutely scathing, but precocious enough to get away with it.

There was no better choice than Suri Cruise, who has already perfected the art of the side eye and probably had a reason to dislike these people.

Since starting the blog last July, I’ve been so tickled to watch people read and comment on it. I’m taking this first opportunity to say thank you for reading and passing it along to your friends. Somebody passed it along to somebody who passed it along to the person who’s now my agent. And somebody passed it along to somebody who passed it along to the person who’s now my editor.

(You can find out more about Suri’s Burn Book: Well-Dressed Commentary from Hollywood’s Little Sweetheart – or even buy it! – here.)

And if you’ve noticed a slowing-down of posts, take notice that THAT TIME IS OVER. The book is written, and it’s back to business.