imagining downton abbey, season three.

Randomly, the back of the 2013 Downton Abbey wall calendar is online now, and there are some new promotional photos hidden inside. Like every nutty nut on Tumblr, I’m trying to figure out WHAT IT ALL MEANS. Here are some ideas. (Under the cut in case you haven’t seen season two or the leaked season three promo — which, if you haven’t, get on it.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think this is Mary telling Edith that she has chosen Sybil and Anna to be her bridesmatrons. Anna feels awkward, Sybil is trying not to make eye contact, and Mary is staring her dead in the eyes. Ovaries before brovaries.

 

This is good. All anyone wants is for Lady Edith to find happiness, if only so she stops ruining other people’s lives. Good luck, Old Dead Arm, taking on the unenviable task of being married to Edith. Edith will probably get pregnant before Mary, and she’ll be really smug about it, and then really irritated and vindictive when Mary does get pregnant and everyone cares a lot more.

 

This season, Matthew is going to be extremely dedicated to getting Lady Mary pregnant. It will probably be DRAMATIC and difficult, considering his penis scare last year and the fact that she had unprotected sex in season one without consequence (besides being socially ruined, having to be engaged for like nine years to the show’s fourth-worst character ever, and having to drag a dead body through the corridors). But of course they will prevail: look at those eyes, HE MEANS BUSINESS. Unfortunately, though, their baby will turn out to be a girl. Sybil will be relieved that she is no longer the most disappointing person in the family.

Apparently this season, the estate loses all of its money. Matthew will not understand the sad flailing that everyone will do — he has a job, after all, and he’s one of those “mo money mo problems” kind of guys. But Mary’s annual hat budget is more than Matthew’s salary, so there will be fighting, too.

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YES. Never change, Branson. Also, please name your baby something really Irish, just to make the Crawleys uncomfortable.

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One thought on “imagining downton abbey, season three.

  1. Can’t wait for season three to begin, I’ve missed downton abbey and your photo commentary is hilarious!

    One thing I will probably miss is their outfits from the last season. i’m not loving the ironed wavy hair thing that’s going on.

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