I’m Allie, and if you came here from Suri’s Burn Book, thank you! You’ve heard a lot from my alter ego, but I’d like to share a little information behind Suri’s back.
When a friend suggested I start a celebrity baby website last summer, I knew I had the capacity to cover the daily goings-on of the trust fund set. But the only way I’d want to discuss these children (and especially their parents) would be with a healthy dose of snark. See, while I know the full names, ages, and countries of origin of the entire Jolie-Pitt family, I’m not exactly proud of that knowledge. Couldn’t that part of my brain have been better used learning, I don’t know, science? The point is, whether we admit it or not, it’s a little ridiculous that we, as a culture, know so much about celebrity offspring. So if I was going to take on the task of reporting the news of these families (STOP THE PRESSES: BABY HARPER TO SIT FRONT ROW AT NEW YORK FASHION WEEK), it was going to be tongue in cheek.
And the problem then became, who the hell am I? I’m a twenty-five-year-old writer living alone in a one-bedroom walk-up, complaining about student loan debt – what about that gives me the authority to criticize Violet Affleck for wearing white socks with black shoes? Also, no matter how hard I try, I’ll never be able to say “Bronx Mowgli Wentz” with a straight face.
I needed a character who could pass judgment so harshly that the satire would be obvious. Someone whose authority on the subject of child fashion and celebrity culture could not be debated. Someone who could be absolutely scathing, but precocious enough to get away with it.
There was no better choice than Suri Cruise, who has already perfected the art of the side eye and probably had a reason to dislike these people.
Since starting the blog last July, I’ve been so tickled to watch people read and comment on it. I’m taking this first opportunity to say thank you for reading and passing it along to your friends. Somebody passed it along to somebody who passed it along to the person who’s now my agent. And somebody passed it along to somebody who passed it along to the person who’s now my editor.
(You can find out more about Suri’s Burn Book: Well-Dressed Commentary from Hollywood’s Little Sweetheart — or even buy it! — here.)
And if you’ve noticed a slowing-down of posts, take notice that THAT TIME IS OVER. The book is written, and it’s back to business.